2006 Selwyn Duke
are certain people you never forget. One
is a man I knew who was an anomaly in more ways than one.
He was a politically conservative Jewish septuagenarian living in
Westchester County, NY, within the gravitational pull of the Den of Iniquity
(that would be NYC). Possessing a
genius IQ and intrepidity to match, on more than one occasion he told me of a
technique he used when debating liberals. He’d
say, “I can tell you what you believe on any issue.
Name for me any issue, and I’ll tell you what your position is.”
Not that he claimed powers of divination.
He explained, “I can do this because I know they get their beliefs from
the New York Times. All I
have to do is open the Times, and that’s what they believe.”
came to mind when I read Clay Waters’ piece, “Richard Berke Bashes Blogs
that Criticize the Times.” Reporting
on an event called Times Talk, at the New York Historical Society in
Manhattan, Waters writes,
. . what struck me was the condescending and sometimes paranoid liberalism of
the audience questioners. Of the seven or eight audience members who addressed
the panel, none said anything that could be remotely construed as Republican or
even moderate. Instead, the panelists got foreboding questionings of whether
Bush believed in democracy and whether Red State folk are as ignorant as they
are because they don't read the New York Times.
think this is unusual. For instance,
I remember another septuagenarian, a woman I engaged in a political debate.
She was an avid reader of the Times and when I asked her if she
believed everything contained therein, her response was “yes.”
When I asked why, I was informed that it was because the people who write
for them are “very intelligent.”
You can’t imagine the evolution of such a mind?
Well, then it’s time for you to view an episode of Guiled Kingdom and
learn about the creature known as the Times Echo.
Times Echoes, the Times isn't merely an information source.
It isn't even just the newspaper of record.
It is an oracle, an inerrant purveyor of wisdom, compared to which the
Bible pales. If a Times Echo were a
marsupial, the Pinch-rag would be the first and only item in his pouch.
If he were a Suckerfish, he'd attach himself to publisher Pinch
Sulzberger's chair-shaped posterior. But
the Times Echo is most certainly human. Although,
if Christian theology is correct that it's intellect and free will that separate
man from the animal kingdom, just barely so.
you’re offended by the Times Echo’s query about ignorant Red Staters,
don’t be. Despite their delusion
that they're possessed of sophistication, Times Echoes are the most callow,
provincial of creatures. You see,
they don't actually interact with people from the hinterlands and consider
sufficient study of the latter’s culture to be a screening of
it's not that they don't travel. They
like bucolic vistas and toasty winter climes as much as anyone, and they have
plenty of money. But they tend
toward places previously civilized by other Times Echoes.
Thus, jaunts to the Hamptons, cozy Vermont Inns (Vermont is rural but
acceptable, since Times Echo hegemony was achieved long ago.
Hello, Bernie Sanders?) and trips to Aspen, Boca Raton and the Caribbean
are definitely on the itinerary. The
areas in-between are akin to the Planet of the Apes, inconvenient badlands that
only make travel between the aforementioned venues more time consuming.
Times Echoes’ preferred habitat really is that insular.
For example, despite the fact that Times Echoes fiercely oppose erecting
a wall along the southern border, you shouldn’t be fooled.
It’s not that they oppose such barriers in principle, it’s just the
location with which they take issue. If
they had their druthers, the wall would encircle Manhattan Island.
A choice, mind you, to which I'm not completely opposed.
Only, the Times Echoes and I might disagree on what side of the gate the
locks should be situated.
it is this very insularity that enables the Times Echo to exist.
Much like the ground-dwelling birds of Madagascar, the Times Echo’s
favorite habitat, on the narrow island of Manhattan and the even narrower island
of its mind, allows it to indulge practices and ideas that would usually lead to
extinction. Guns, big stick foreign
policy, adequate punishment for criminals and forced interrogation of terrorists
seem like antiquated tools of Cro-Magnons to the Times Echo, ensconced as it is
in its ivory tower on the Upper West Side of Wonderland.
is life in this bubble of bolshevism that blinds the Times Echoes to the real
world. And, insofar as they are
cognizant of the “quirks,” “oddities” and “prejudices” of the
barbarians beyond the realm, they have the expectation that their grand mission
should remain totally unfettered by them. It
is this attitude that explains the comments of Times Assistant Managing
Editor Richard Berke. Waters reports
Berke as stating,
are some good blogs, like Dick's [fellow panelist Dick Polman]. The bad blogs
are the ones that take on the New York Times.
Some of the blogs take a toll on our reporters.
One question on our minds is, ‘What are the blogs going to say?’ . .
. Reporters have to be careful not to pull their punches . . . There are people
dedicated to analyzing and picking apart whatever we say and do, not always in a
bad way, but sometimes it's just mean-spirited . . . The bloggers are after us .
. . we try not to be affected, but foremost in our mind, we know that everything
we write will be picked apart . . . you have to ignore those people that go
after you . . . I'm afraid that blogging . . . creates problems for people to do
well, what a cross he has to bear. No
man should have to labor under such conditions.
comes to mind.
though, it occurs to me that the incessant propaganda disgorged by the Times makes
it hard for the bloggers to do their job. You
see, while a Times Echo would scoff at this assertion, that’s the beauty of a
free market. Coke makes it harder
for Pepsi to do its job. Colgate
makes it harder for Crest to do its job. Toyota
makes it harder for Ford to do its job. Although,
when discussing the relationship between the bloggers and the Times, a
better analogy may be: the police make it harder for criminals to do their job.
really upsets Pinch and his minions is that bloggers impact upon their ability
to spawn more Times Echoes, something they have had trouble doing, as evidenced
by declining circulation.
why would a journalist with the courage of his convictions worry about what
others say of him? I’ve received
vile hate mail, have had lies told about me and once even had reason to believe
that someone wanted to kill me. Yet,
I never thought twice about writing from the heart.
I know the Truth will set you free and look above for approval, not
then again, I’m not a Times Echo. A
Times Echo is a creature of human respect, although he doesn’t show it as much
as he craves it. He sees nothing
above, the other Echoes and the Pinch-rag next to him and, when he casts his
myopic eyes downward, is assaulted by the visage of the common man.
This explains his paternalism.
is also a creature of his age, being too disconnected from that which is ageless
to transcend it. He is trapped in
time and place, the servant who fancies himself a king, the simpleton posing as
would explain why Pinch, waxing contemporary, once said
that the Times
. . . can no longer offer our readers a predominantly white, straight, male
vision of events . . ..”
I don’t remember such a practice, unless he meant the vision of the white,
straight male named Pinch. But what
vision are we to expect? A black,
lesbian, female vision? Is the paper
to be known henceforth as the “Gay Lady”?
A green, reptilian, cold-blooded vision?
An orange, beta-carotene, vegetable vision?
A brown, sedimentary, mineral vision?
is why the times of the Times’ woes are times for joy.
The dark religion that is the Times is dying, its Echoes
are becoming fainter. And this is
perhaps why they hate the Internet media so.
They fear its ascendancy, for they know what fate befalls creatures that
cannot or will not adapt to changing times.
The oblivion of extinction.
Selwyn Duke is a freelance writer out or Larchmont, NY. He has written for various publications including: IntellectualConservative.com, AmericanThinker.com and is a regular columnist for RenewAmerica.us.